"Do you know what I most dislike, brother?""I do not, unless it be the constable, Jasper.""It is not the constable; it's a beggar on horseback, brother.""What do you mean by a beggar on horseback?""Why, a scamp, brother, raised above his proper place, who takes every opportunity of giving himself fine airs.About a week ago, my people and myself camped on a green by a plantation in the neighbourhood of a great house.In the evening we were making merry, the girls were dancing, while Piramus was playing on the fiddle a tune of his own composing, to which he has given his own name, Piramus of Rome, and which is much celebrated amongst our people, and from which I have been told that one of the grand gorgio composers, who once heard it, has taken several hints.So, as we were making merry, a great many grand people, lords and ladies, I believe, came from the great house, and looked on, as the girls danced to the tune of Piramus of Rome, and seemed much pleased; and when the girls had left off dancing, and Piramus playing, the ladies wanted to have their fortunes told; so I bade Mikailia Chikno, who can tell a fortune when she pleases better than any one else, tell them a fortune, and she, being in a good mind, told them a fortune which pleased them very much.So, after they had heard their fortunes, one of them asked if any of our women could sing;and I told them several could, more particularly Leviathan -you know Leviathan, she is not here now, but some miles distant, she is our best singer, Ursula coming next.So the lady said she should like to hear Leviathan sing, whereupon Leviathan sang the Gudlo pesham, and Piramus played the tune of the same name, which as you know, means the honeycomb, the song and the tune being well entitled to the name, being wonderfully sweet.Well, everybody present seemed mighty well pleased with the song and music, with the exception of one person, a carroty-haired Scotch body; how he came there Idon't know, but there he was; and, coming forward, he began in Scotch as broad as a barn-door to find fault with the music and the song, saying, that he had never heard viler stuff than either.Well, brother, out of consideration for the civil gentry with whom the fellow had come, I held my peace for a long time, and in order to get the subject changed, I said to Mikailia in Romany, You have told the ladies their fortunes, now tell the gentlemen theirs, quick, quick, - pen lende dukkerin.Well, brother, the Scotchman, Isuppose, thinking I was speaking ill of him, fell into a greater passion than before, and catching hold of the word dukkerin - 'Dukkerin,' said he, 'what's dukkerin?'
'Dukkerin,' said I, 'is fortune, a man or woman's destiny;don't you like the word?' 'Word! d'ye ca' that a word? a bonnie word,' said he.'Perhaps, you'll tell us what it is in Scotch,' said I, 'in order that we may improve our language by a Scotch word; a pal of mine has told me that we have taken a great many words from foreign lingos.' 'Why, then, if that be the case, fellow, I will tell you; it is e'en "spaeing,"' said he, very seriously.'Well, then,' said I, 'I'll keep my own word, which is much the prettiest -spaeing! spaeing! why, I should be ashamed to make use of the word, it sounds so much like a certain other word;' and then I made a face as if I were unwell.'Perhaps it's Scotch also for that?' 'What do ye mean by speaking in that guise to a gentleman?' said he; 'you insolent vagabond, without a name or a country.' 'There you are mistaken,' said I; 'my country is Egypt, but we 'Gyptians, like you Scotch, are rather fond of travelling; and as for name - my name is Jasper Petulengro, perhaps you have a better; what is it?' 'Sandy Macraw.' At that, brother, the gentlemen burst into a roar of laughter, and all the ladies tittered.""You were rather severe on the Scotchman, Jasper.""Not at all, brother, and suppose I were, he began first; Iam the civilest man in the world, and never interfere with anybody, who lets me and mine alone.He finds fault with Romany, forsooth! why, L-d A'mighty, what's Scotch? He doesn't like our songs; what are his own? I understand them as little as he mine; I have heard one or two of them, and pretty rubbish they seemed.But the best of the joke is, the fellow's finding fault with Piramus's fiddle - a chap from the land of bagpipes finding fault with Piramus's fiddle!
Why, I'll back that fiddle against all the bagpipes in Scotland, and Piramus against all the bagpipers; for though Piramus weighs but ten stone, he shall flog a Scotchman of twenty.""Scotchmen are never so fat as that," said I, "unless indeed, they have been a long time pensioners of England.I say, Jasper, what remarkable names your people have!""And what pretty names, brother; there's my own, for example, Jasper; then there's Ambrose and Sylvester; then there's Culvato, which signifies Claude; then there's Piramus -that's a nice name, brother."
"Then there's your wife's name, Pakomovna; then there's Ursula and Morella.""Then, brother, there's Ercilla."
"Ercilla! the name of the great poet of Spain, how wonderful;then Leviathan."
"The name of a ship, brother; Leviathan was named after a ship, so don't make a wonder out of her.But there's Sanpriel and Synfye.""Ay, and Clementina and Lavinia, Camillia and Lydia, Curlanda and Orlanda; wherever did they get those names?""Where did my wife get her necklace, brother?""She knows best, Jasper.I hope - "
"Come, no hoping! She got it from her grandmother, who died at the age of a hundred and three, and sleeps in Coggeshall churchyard.She got it from her mother, who also died very old, and who could give no other account of it than that it had been in the family time out of mind.""Whence could they have got it?"
"Why, perhaps where they got their names, brother.Agentleman, who had travelled much, once told me that he had seen the sister of it about the neck of an Indian queen.""Some of your names, Jasper, appear to be church names; your own, for example, and Ambrose, and Sylvester; perhaps you got them from the Papists, in the times of Popery; but where did you get such a name as Piramus, a name of Grecian romance?
Then some of them appear to be Slavonian; for example, Mikailia and Pakomovna.I don't know much of Slavonian; but - ""What is Slavonian, brother?"
"The family name of certain nations, the principal of which is the Russian, and from which the word slave is originally derived.You have heard of the Russians, Jasper?""Yes, brother; and seen some.I saw their crallis at the time of the peace; he was not a bad-looking man for a Russian.""By the bye, Jasper, I'm half inclined to think that crallis is a Slavish word.I saw something like it in a lil called 'Voltaire's Life of Charles.' How you should have come by such names and words is to me incomprehensible.""You seem posed, brother."
"I really know very little about you, Jasper.""Very little indeed, brother.We know very little about ourselves; and you know nothing, save what we have told you;and we have now and then told you things about us which are not exactly true, simply to make a fool of you, brother.You will say that was wrong; perhaps it was.Well, Sunday will be here in a day or two, when we will go to church, where possibly we shall hear a sermon on the disastrous consequences of lying."
