"I should like you fellows to understand that my heart never wavered in its allegiance to Lady Mary--my conscience is quite clear as to that--but I had pledged my word. I caught that tiresome girl round the waist and I kissed her once--I'm sure of once, anyhow. She gasped and struggled, laughing still. Then, with a sudden change of voice, she cried, `Stop', stop!'
"I let her go. I looked round. We had a gallery of spectators.
On one side stood the ugly-headed valet; on the other, in attitudes of horror, Mary and Miss Dibbs!
"`You've ruined us both now,' said the girl in blue.
"I rose to my feet and was about to explain, when the ugly fellow rushed at me, brandishing a cane. I had quite enough to arrange without being bothered by him. I caught the cane in my left hand, and with my right I knocked him down.
"Then I walked up to Lady Mary. I took no heed of Miss Dibbs' presence; it was too critical a moment to think of trifles.
"`Lady Mary,' said I, `appearances are so much against me that you cannot possibly attach the slightest weight to them.'
"`Sir,' said she, `I have no longer the honor of your acquaintance. I have only to thank you for having had the consideration not to recognize me when we met so unexpectedly in the dining room. Pray continue to show me the same favor.'
"With which pleasant little speech she turned on her heel. It was clear that she suspected me most unjustly. I turned to the girl in blue, but she was beforehand with me.
"`Ah, I wish I'd never see you,' she cried, `you great, stupid creature! He [she pointed to the prostrate figure of the ugly servant] will tell Frederic everything.'
"`Come,' said I, `_I_ was only an accident; it would have been just as bad if----'
"As I spoke I heard a step behind me. Turning round, I found myself face to face with the young man with whom I had come in collision as I rushed through the hall. He gazed at the servant--at me--at the girl in blue.
"`Margaret!' he exclaimed, `what is the----'
"`Hush, hush!' she whispered, pointing again to the servant.
"I stepped up to him, lifting my hat:
"`Sir,' said I, "kindly inform me if you are the gentleman who was to come from England.'
"`Certainly I come from England,' he said.
"`And you ought to have arrived on Wednesday?'
"`Yes," he answered.
"`Then,' said I, `all I have to say to you, sir, is--that I wish to the devil you'd keep your appointments.' And I left them.
"That's why I'm not married, boys. Where's my glass?""It is a very curious story," observed the colonel. "And who were they all--the girl in blue--and the young man--and the ugly servant--and Frederic?""Colonel," said Jack, with an air of deepest mystery, "you would be astounded to hear."We all pricked up our ears.
"But," he continued, "I am not at liberty to say."We sank back in our chairs.
"Do you know?" asked the colonel, and Jack nodded solemnly.
"Out with it!" we cried.
"Impossible!" said Jack. "But I may tell you that the matter engaged the attention of more than one of the Foreign Offices of Europe.""Good Heavens!" cried we in chorus, and Jack drank off his whisky and water, rose to his feet, and put on his hat.
"Poor dear Mary!" said he, as he opened the door. "She never got over it."The colonel shouted after him:
"Then what did she marry Jenkyns of the Blues for?""Pique!" said Jack, and he shut the door.
