A field near Windsor. Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY DOCTOR CAIUS Jack Rugby! RUGBY Sir? DOCTOR CAIUS Vat is de clock, Jack? RUGBY 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. RUGBY He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came. DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, de herring is no dead so as Ivill kill him.
Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how Ivill kill him. RUGBY Alas, sir, I cannot fence. DOCTOR CAIUS Villany, take your rapier. RUGBY Forbear; here's company.
Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE Host Bless thee, bully doctor! SHALLOW Save you, Master Doctor Caius! PAGE Now, good master doctor! SLENDER Give you good morrow, sir. DOCTOR CAIUS Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Host To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there;to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha!
is he dead, bully stale? is he dead? DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face. Host Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy! DOCTOR CAIUS I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. SHALLOW He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.
Is it not true, Master Page? PAGE Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. SHALLOW Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page. PAGE 'Tis true, Master Shallow. SHALLOW It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor. Host Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater. DOCTOR CAIUS Mock-vater! vat is dat? Host Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully. DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears. Host He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. DOCTOR CAIUS Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? Host That is, he will make thee amends. DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;for, by gar, me vill have it. Host And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. DOCTOR CAIUS Me tank you for dat. Host And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
Aside to them PAGE Sir Hugh is there, is he? Host He is there: see what humour he is in;and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well? SHALLOW We will do it. PAGE SHALLOW SLENDER Adieu, good master doctor.
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. Host Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well? DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, Ilove you;
and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. Host For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well? DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, 'tis good; vell said. Host Let us wag, then. DOCTOR CAIUS Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
