登陆注册
15417500000037

第37章

The atmosphere of precautions and recriminations,and in the midst a human body growing more vivid because it was in pain;the end of that body in Hilton churchyard;the survival of something that suggested hope,vivid in its turn against life's workaday cheerfulness;--all these were lost to Helen,who only felt that a pleasant lady could now be pleasant no longer.

She returned to Wickham Place full of her own affairs--she had had another proposal--and Margaret,after a moment's hesitation,was content that this should be so.

The proposal had not been a serious matter.

It was the work of Fr?ulein Mosebach,who had conceived the large and patriotic notion of winning back her cousins to the Fatherland by matrimony.

England had played Paul Wilcox,and lost;Germany played Herr F?rstmeister someone--Helen could not remember his name.

Herr F?rstmeister lived in a wood,and standing on the summit of the Oderberge,he had pointed out his house to Helen,or rather,had pointed out the wedge of pines in which it lay.She had exclaimed,"Oh,how lovely!That's the place for me!"and in the evening Frieda appeared in her bedroom."I have a message,dear Helen,"etc.,and so she had,but had been very nice when Helen laughed;quite understood--a forest too solitary and damp--quite agreed,but Herr F?rstmeister believed he had assurance to the contrary.Germany had lost,but with good-humour;holding the manhood of the world,she felt bound to win."And there will even be someone for Tibby,"concluded Helen."There now,Tibby,think of that;Frieda is saving up a little girl for you,in pig-tails and white worsted stockings,but the feet of the stockings are pink,as if the little girl had trodden in strawberries.

I've talked too much.My head aches.Now you talk."Tibby consented to talk.He too was full of his own affairs,for he had just been up to try for a scholarship at Oxford.

The men were down,and the candidates had been housed in various colleges,and had dined in hall.Tibby was sensitive to beauty,the experience was new,and he gave a deion of his visit that was almost glowing.

The august and mellow University,soaked with the richness of the western counties that it has served for a thousand years,appealed at once to the boy's taste:it was the kind of thing he could understand,and he understood it all the better because it was empty.Oxford is--Oxford:not a mere receptacle for youth,like Cambridge.Perhaps it wants its inmates to love it rather than to love one another:such at all events was to be its effect on Tibby.His sisters sent him there that he might make friends,for they knew that his education had been cranky,and had severed him from other boys and men.He made no friends.His Oxford remained Oxford empty,and he took into life with him,not the memory of a radiance,but the memory of a colour scheme.

It pleased Margaret to hear her brother and sister talking.They did not get on overwell as a rule.For a few moments she listened to them,feeling elderly and benign.Then something occurred to her,and she interrupted:

"Helen,I told you about poor Mrs.Wilcox;that sad business?""Yes."

"I have had a correspondence with her son.

He was winding up the estate,and wrote to ask me whether his mother had wanted me to have anything.I thought it good of him,considering I knew her so little.I said that she had once spoken of giving me a Christmas present,but we both forgot about it afterwards.""I hope Charles took the hint."

"Yes--that is to say,her husband wrote later on,and thanked me for being a little kind to her,and actually gave me her silver vinaigrette.Don't you think that is extraordinarily generous?

It has made me like him very much.He hopes that this will not be the end of our acquaintance,but that you and I will go and stop with Evie some time in the future.I like Mr.Wilcox.He is taking up his work--rubber--it is a big business.I gather he is launching out rather.Charles is in it,too.Charles is married--a pretty little creature,but she doesn't seem wise.They took on the flat,but now they have gone off to a house of their own."Helen,after a decent pause,continued her account of Stettin.How quickly a situation changes!In June she had been in a crisis;even in November she could blush and be unnatural;now it was January,and the whole affair lay forgotten.Looking back on the past six months,Margaret realized the chaotic nature of our daily life,and its difference from the orderly sequence that has been fabricated by historians.Actual life is full of false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere.With infinite effort we nerve ourselves for a crisis that never comes.The most successful career must show a waste of strength that might have removed mountains,and the most unsuccessful is not that of the man who is taken unprepared,but of him who has prepared and is never taken.On a tragedy of that kind our national morality is duly silent.It assumes that preparation against danger is in itself a good,and that men,like nations,are the better for staggering through life fully armed.The tragedy of preparedness has scarcely been handled,save by the Greeks.Life is indeed dangerous,but not in the way morality would have us believe.It is indeed unmanageable,but the essence of it is not a battle.It is unmanageable because it is a romance,and its essence is romantic beauty.

Margaret hoped that for the future she would be less cautious,not more cautious,than she had been in the past.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 一千年以后,天气晴

    一千年以后,天气晴

    一千年以前,在那个终年落雪的虚空之境,他温暖的手第一次碰触了她。他给她取名,叫做——云之初。于是,云之初爱上了他。一千年以后,在这春光明媚的21世纪,他在所有人面前抓住了她的手。“她叫Fiarona。” 许年恩笑笑。那笑容,仿佛千年之前的一样。他伸手去握住她的,那温柔,亦同千年前他的抚摸。她忽然感觉到自己心里猛然软下去了一块,呆呆地望着那完美的侧脸,发不出声。如同,曾经作为式神那样,依然安静地站在他的身边。可是这一次,Fiarona再不敢爱上他。【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • Seventeen

    Seventeen

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 孤雪笑颜

    孤雪笑颜

    出生皇家,凌州末子。母亲舍去后位,以命抵命,为他铺好前程,只盼他一世平凡.....14岁时遭人胁迫,成为敌国在京城的内探,他忍过了4年,终于崛起,他的身世也在一步步揭晓......“小雪雪,乖乖吃药,不然....你懂得。”某男手持药碗,一脸不正经的奸笑.....“夫君答应我,五个月之后你一定要活着回来。”“好,为了你和钰儿,我会活着回来”...真正的爱,不需要开口。感谢每一位阅读者
  • 恶魔校草请别再爱我

    恶魔校草请别再爱我

    三年前,他抛后她,她暴走,三年后再次相遇,她不是以前那个弱小的她,两人再次相遇会发生什么事呢?
  • 仙与人

    仙与人

    仙,生命的巅峰。人,生命的奇迹。古往今来,修仙者不知几何,但是人真的能成为仙么?
  • 诛圣剑主

    诛圣剑主

    一个平凡的铁匠铺少年,不小心看了一眼家中世代相传的传家秘典,不料却让传家秘典瞬间化为飞灰。少年无意间却又发现自己竟然已经掌握了传家秘典中的内容,但冥冥中又被传家秘典所指引……少年宁鸿,执剑出世;称雄八域,逆转乾坤……
  • 韶华逝去,初心难改

    韶华逝去,初心难改

    初恋的美好与现实交织着人生,两个幼稚鬼,一个想要成熟,另一个傻乎乎的守着初心。人生何如,自不能言。故事为作者真实生活。闲来烦闷,聊表此生,如有雷同,同为人生。
  • 终极兑换之极品人生

    终极兑换之极品人生

    什么?那个李旭的情书都被曝光了……还被女神当着面撕了个粉碎?那后来呢?后来那小子的人生可真精彩啊!怎么个精彩法?那小子被市长的女儿倒追!听说市长女儿还被他拒绝了……我地个耶稣基督啊!那小子还真是张狂啊!那还有别的什么事吗?你问我别的事?那多了去了,就比如说黑道、白道、官场、商场……你小子就别卖关子了,快讲!瞧你猴急的,豆腐都不敢卖给你了!好吧,看你那可怜样,支持支持我,我就给你多讲点……哈哈
  • 穿越之千里心

    穿越之千里心

    说到捡东西这个东西,一天我在买菜就捡到了个东西,一个不男不女东西,貌似认识,刚回来,传过去,这个场景貌似也练熟了!
  • 梦色蛋糕师

    梦色蛋糕师

    天野草莓是一个14岁的少女,单纯而善良。小时候因伤心时吃到奶奶的草莓蛋挞而露出笑脸,所以从小就很喜欢糕点,渴望成为一名出色的蛋糕师,做出为人们带来欢笑的糕点。虽然小莓对蛋糕拥有很独特的天赋,但是天不遂人愿,小莓从来没有做过糕点,十分笨拙,那份笨拙程度和她喜欢蛋糕的狂热程度成反比。一天,小莓去参加蛋糕展示会,她遇到了专职糕点的金发男人——安利老师。老是让草莓去圣玛丽学院,终于,小莓经过与家人的激烈讨论后,决定转学去圣玛丽学园。慢慢的,小莓对糕点的知识逐渐丰富,还遇见了三个糕点王子——坚野真、安堂千乃介与花房五月,慢慢地展开新的生活蓝图。