Mrs.Nupkins's tears continued to gush forth, with great velocity, until she had gained a little time to think the matter over: when she decided, in her own mind, that the best thing to do would be to ask Mr.Pickwick and his friends to remain until the Captain's arrival, and then to give Mr.Pickwick the opportunity he sought.If it appeared that he had spoken truly, the Captain could be turned out of the house without noising the matter abroad, and they could easily account to the Porkenhams for his disappearance, by saying that he had been appointed, through the Court influence of his family, to the Governor-Generalship of Sierra Leone, or Saugur Point, or any other of those salubrious climates which enchant Europeans so much that, when they once get there, they can hardly ever prevail upon themselves to come back again.
When Mrs.Nupkins dried up her tears, Miss Nupkins dried up hers , and Mr.Nupkins was very glad to settle the matter as Mrs.Nupkins had proposed.So Mr.Pickwick and his friends, having washed off all marks of their late encounter, were introduced to the ladies, and soon afterwards to their dinner; and Mr.Weller, whom the magistrate with his peculiar sagacity had discovered in half an hour to be one of the finest fellows alive, was consigned to the care and guardianship of Mr.Muzzle, who was specially enjoined to take him below, and make much of him.
"How de do, sir?" said Mr.Muzzle, as he conducted Mr.Weller down the kitchen stairs.
"Why, no con-siderable change has taken place in the state of my system, since I see you cocked up behind your governor's chair in the parlour, a little vile ago," replied Sam.
"You will excuse my not taking more notice of you then," said Mr.Muzzle.
"You see, master hadn't introduced us, then.Lord, how fond he is of you, Mr.Weller, to be sure!""Ah," said Sam, "what a pleasant chap he is!""Ain't he?" replied Mr.Muzzle.
"So much humour," said Sam.
"And such a man to speak," said Mr.Muzzle."How his ideas flow, don't they?""Wonderful," replied Sam; "they come's a pouring out, knocking each other's heads so fast, that they seems to stun one another; you hardly know what he's arter, do you?""That's the great merit of his style of speaking," rejoined Mr.Muzzle.
"Take care of the last step, Mr.Weller.Would you like to wash your hands, sir, before we join the ladies? Here's a sink, with the water laid on, sir, and a clean jack towel behind the door.""Ah! perhaps I may as well have a rinse," replied Mr.Weller, applying plenty of yellow soap to the towel, and rubbing away, till his face shone again."How many ladies are there?""Only two in our kitchen," said Mr.Muzzle, "cook and 'ousemaid.We keep a boy to do the dirty work, and a gal besides, but they dine in the washus.""Oh, they dines in the washus, do they?" said Mr.Weller.
"Yes," replied Mr.Muzzle, "we tried 'em at our table when they first come, but we couldn't keep 'em.The gal's manners is dreadful vulgar; and the boy breathes so very hard while he's eating, that we found it impossible to sit at table with him.""Young grampus!" said Mr.Weller.
"Oh, dreadful," rejoined Mr.Muzzle; "but that is the worst of country service, Mr.Weller; the juniors is always so very savage.This way, sir, if you please; this way."Preceding Mr.Weller, with the utmost politeness, Mr.Muzzle conducted him into the kitchen.
"Mary," said Mr.Muzzle to the pretty servant-girl, "this is Mr.Weller;a gentleman as master has sent down to be made as comfortable as possible.""And your master's a knowin' hand, and has just sent me to the right place," said Mr.Weller, with a glance of admiration at Mary."If I wos master o' this here house, I should alvays find the materials for comfort vere Mary wos.""Lor', Mr.Weller," said Mary, blushing.
"Well, I never!" ejaculated the cook.
"Bless me, cook, I forgot you," said Mr.Muzzle."Mr.Weller, let me introduce you.""How are you, ma'am," said Mr.Weller."Wery glad to see you, indeed, and hope our acquaintance may be a long 'un, as the gen'l'm'n said to the fi' pun' note."When this ceremony of introduction had been gone through, the cook and Mary retired into the back kitchen to titter, for ten minutes; then returning, all giggles and blushes, they sat down to dinner.
Mr.Weller's easy manners and conversational powers had such irresistible influence with his new friends, that before the dinner was half over, they were on footing of perfect intimacy, and in possession of a full account of the delinquency of Job Trotter.
"I never could a-bear that Job," said Mary.
"No more you never ought to, my dear," replied Mr.Weller.
"Why not?" inquired Mary.
"Cos ugliness and svindlin' never ought to be formiliar vith elegance and wirtew," replied Mr.Weller."Ought they, Mr.Muzzle?""Not by no means," replied that gentleman.
Here Mary laughed, and said the cook had made her; and the cook laughed, and said she hadn't.
"I han't got a glass," said Mary.
"Drink with me, my dear," said Mr.Weller."Put your lips to this here tumbler, and then I can kiss you by deputy.""For shame, Mr.Weller!" said Mary.
"What's a shame, my dear?"
"Talkin' in that way."
"Nonsense; it ain't no harm.It's natur; ain't it, cook?""Don't ask me imperence," replied the cook in a high state of delight:
and hereupon the cook and Mary laughed again, till what between the beer, and the cold meat, and the laughter combined, the latter young lady was brought to the verge of choking--an alarming crisis from which she was only recovered by sundry pats on the back, and other necessary attentions, most delicately adminstered by Mr.Samuel Weller.
